Anyone Else Need Tylenol?
by XemnasisMANSEX0-0
Summary: As you can tell from the title, the characters are in for one hell of a ride! Maybe a little bit more will come out of this other than Migrains? Lets just add a spoonful of romance for good luck...NOT! I Suck at Summaries. Bi-sexual in this so no flamers!
1. Well ain't this cliche?

I don't own anything.

"Agh, dammit, not again!" I yelled.

Oh, excuse my manners!

My name is Haruki Takayashi. I'm 6 foot. Not 5'11, not 6'1, just damn freakin' 6 ft! I look like I'm African-American though, because my fathers genes were dominate, including skin tone. So, take Naruto's skintone, and darken it by, like, 2. Okay, moving on. I have shoulder length, straight hair that curls inward slightly at the tips. There's also a long lock of Green went down the side of my head. I have forest green eyes, alot like my dyed lock of hair. One piercing, located on the shell of my ear, it being a diamond stud. I had a well-muscled body, but at the same time I don't think I could be classified as buff. As you probably wouldn't be able to tell, but my favorite things in this world are Anime/manga and Videogames. If you **EVER** ask me to go to H&M or American Eagle(I don't own), I'd probably slap you in the face with my 'EPIC FAIL' Gir t-shirt. (I do own that though.) I'll only go to Hot Topic, 1: because the shirts there will never fail to make you laugh, 2: My sister works there, so I get discounts! Nyehehheh!

Anyway!

I'm 19, but I look like 25 year old, says my Sister and Brother. Their names are Natsume and Tadao Takayashi. Natsume being youngest and Tadao oldest. Yea, I'm the middle child, but unlike most, I'm not tortured by my siblings, because one is in college, and the other thinks of me as her little dressup doll, just cause I'm bi...

Oh, did I not mention that? Well, then yeah I am officialy bi-sexual. If you don't like that kind of thing, just turn around and walk away.

But back to what I was doing.

So I had just bought a new computer, and was now on fanfiction looking for awesome stories to read, more specifically...NARUTO, BITCHES!

"Now, where's that story about Sakura... Scrumdidileeumptious!" I muttered softly to myself. That story always had me in hysterics, and I often fell out of my chair. And, the Author, BitterSweetCrimson, was an absolute Genius! (I'm serious, you are like my biggest Idol right now. Your stories are teh best! ;D Dattebayo!) "Meh I'll just go irritate Lola, (my bestest and Only friend), Onward, ho!" I said, then ran off towards to the closet to get all sexified...if it's a real word. (which it's not, mind you) I then found my favorite pair of Jeans, which were black, tight, I guess, but don't call them skinnies! Cause they're not.

As if to spite me, My phone vibrated on my Oak wood nightstand, and I reached for it and saw that Lola had gotten to me first. "Hewwo?" I grunted out, trying to struggle my way into the tight as fudge jeans. (I don't care what you say, they are not skinnies!) "Hmm, is that the sound of you trying to get in your skinnies?" (NOT SKINNIES!) Lola's faintly accented voice purred through the reciver. I loved Lola from the bottom of my heart (like a little sister mind you), without a doubt. I mean she was **SO** beautiful, she made the most (assumed) beautiful girl jealous.

Which made her a target.

Everywhere she'd go, it was if someone was intetionally destroying her life.  
>1. Her dog almost got hit by the same car...15 times.<br>2. she fell asleep for 10 minutes, and almost half the clothes in her closet were detroyed.  
>3. Her boyfriend broke up with her, just cause when he was walking with her, someone threw a Waterballoon meant for her and it hit him.<p>

Later that day, I made sure that guy **really had **sumthin to whine about...

"-ruki-kun? Haruki-kun!" Lola panicked, startilling me to death. And, only now did I realize that my pants were up, and on. "Yeah, I here. Sorry." I chuckled. "Okay," Lola trailed of worried "but, be sure to bring Naruto and Naruto Shippuden for our narutard party tonight!" She reminded me. "Don't worry. After my walk with Kaname, it'll be you, me, and Sexy Ninja Action!" I declared, noting that the only good shirt I had was my white form-fitting tee, that clung to me when wet. I think it's best to wear shirts like this when your alone, but I'm not walkin round the park shirtless.  
>"I'll hold you to that declaration then, luv." Lola replied. I snorted "Okay, Captain Jack Sparrow." We both had the same intrest in everything, Anime, Books, Games, you name it, we both like it. "See ya at 8?" Lola asked. "No promises." And we hung up.<p>

I tugged on the shirt that I had found, after walking downstairs, and finding Kaname waiting at the door like the incredibly loyal wolf that she is. Natsume is a very mean person. "Hey girl!" After finding the leash and attaching it to her collar, we both set out to the park.

*At The Park*

3rd Person

"Who the hell is the weather forecaster, I gotta complaint!" Haruki shouted, as he and Kaname were drenched from head to toe/paw. They ran and ran, untill Kaname suddenly turned her head in the direction of an nasty looking alley. "What is it girl?" Asked Haruki, as he felt a tug from Kaname. Suddenly, Haruki felt the need to walk down the alley. "C'mon." He directed to Kaname, who followed behind in order to keep her owner safe. It was as if someone smacked Haruki in the face with a broom, as he looked to the ground and saw at least 15 animals looking up at him with startled eyes.


	2. A little off topic, don't cha think?

I don't own anything in the story or title.

3rd person

16 pairs of eyes stared up at the strange (to most) looking human in curiousty, while he and his dog stared back. Then, it was the black furred cat that made a move.

Haruki's POV

As I stared in shock at the huge amount of animals (I say animals, because there were 13 cats, 2 dogs, and 1 kit. "It seems as though I can't count, because I could've sworn I only saw 15 of ya." I sucked my teeth in annoyance. And then, I felt a pawing at my foot. I looked down, and saw a pretty female kitten, black with blue streaks. She pawed at me a little more, and looked at the direction of the very small kit. And then I remebered, it was raining terribly hard, snowing right about now, in the middle of febuary. "OH SHIT!" I yelled. I told Kaname to stay and keep the kit as warm as she could, as I ran back to my house for a heluva lotta blankets.

3rd POV

"Excuse me, but won't you let me take care of the little one?" Kaname said gently to group of animals that were mixed. "Hell no, wench!" The Smaller silver dog snapped. "Inuyasha!" The pretty black and blue cat yelled. "But Kagome! How do you know if we can trust her!" Kaname sighed. She was hoping she didn't have to use this form, but it seems as though she would have to rely on it. Before their very eyes, the wolf turned into a **_very well endowed_** woman, who was in dark violet robes, had long flowing silver hair down to her back, but gentle brown eyes. "If I don't help him he'll die, and his destiny of becoming the strongest demon will never be realized." Everyone gaped for a moment, and after gathering his wits, Inuyasha backed down. Kaname reached for the kit that was shaking, and looked ready to pass out. After bringing him forward into her personal space bubble, he calmed down considerably, and snuggled into the neck he was held up to. "I know damn well that the rest of you are cold, so get over here. Don't be shocked when I change, back though, because Ha-kun is coimng back and I don't wanna be caught in this form." Everyone walked over to her and curled up in her body heat, not reacting as she turned back to her Wolf form.

Haruki's POV

"Kaname! Kaname!" I called as I ran back to the alley that held the defenseless animals. Running as fast as I could with 7 blankets in hand, I skidded to a stop in front of the curled up mound of bodies.  
>"Kaname, your a life saver, literally!" I exclamed as I noticed that everyone was curled up near her body, some a little farther than others. It had cleared up a bit after I had gotten back to the house, so the blankets were still nice and dry.<p>

I took the biggest blanket and wrapped Kaname in it. After that, I stood up, and tried to figure out how this was gonna work. "Hmmm... I suppose I should just take the females, since there seems to be only 3 of you." I lent down again...this giving me back pains...and sat on the ground Japanese style (feet and legs tucked under the thighs). "Neko-chan, Anata wa Daijobu desu?" I said, pulling forward the one that seemed to be leaning heavily on her left side. This one was a very exotic kitty, for she was a beautiful oceanic blue, and there seemed to be a symbol of a detailed flower on her right ear. (Can you guess? It should be obvious.) "If you allow me to take you in, I'll name you Yuuka, for your gentle looks, superior aura, and the flower print in your ear." I was bewildered when the cats looked at me as if they were shocked. "What? Were you shocked that I decided to take you in?" I smirked when I realized that the cats and dogs decided to wag their tails as if saying _'Yes!'._ My smirk got even bigger, and I know started to look _a little_ creepy.

"You shouldn't be shocked. You should prepare for what gonna go down once we get home." I said, then started giggling insanely, but then stopped, and looked down. The shadows covering my eyes looked unerving, but they waited for a response anyway. Once I looked up though, I know my eyes had turned a deep, entrancing purple, and I spoke in a voice that was as smooth as creamy chocolate.  
>"Where is my fellow breatheren? Where is the other Jashinist?" I looked calm, but the crazed look in my eye told differently.<p>

After a few moments of hesitation, the silver cat with the lavender eyes walked forward. The male had shiny coat, that seemed to be held down with some sort of substance, and when you looked close enough you could see a circle that held a upside down trangle in the cat's cornea. After a couple steps, the cat sat on his hind legs, and gently placed a paw on my knee cap. Apparently, that was enough to change me back, because my eyes had gone from crazy and cold, to down to earth and loving and I felt a sudden wave of tiredness. I ignored it though, and smiled down at the little cat, and picked him up. "Gomen ne, minna-san. Demo, sometimes I can't control **_Him_**." I said, clenching a trembling hand into a shaking fist.  
>I suddenly changed attitudes, and looked down at them as I stood up, placing the silver cat on my shoulder. "Sa, shall we go home?" I said, not looking back to see if anyone was following.<p>

Things are gonna be different, thats for damn sure.

Hey everyone, I updated! Never mind the fact that it's 2:05 and I started at 11:00. I'm a slow typer! *cries anime tears* This goes out to my first review, I saw your review a couple days ago, so I've been working as fast as I could. Me gots homework you know! Anyway, this goes out to you! Arigato **_Bloody-Neko-Princess-sama! _***Bows to you* Ja ne!


	3. And we're not even home yet!

Here goes the Shmexyness of killer kitties, and the Stupidness of slutty skanks! I own nuthin, cept Haruki and any other OCs. 8D

3rd person

After walking further a few blocks down, Haruki and friends stopped at a huge, blue kiddy wagon. "Alright," Haruki started, "Which one of you would like a free ride?" Almost instantly, the huge, male, silver furred dog took a step in the wagon and just sat in it. Haruki stared blankly at the pompus looking dog. "Ya know," Haruki said. "I don't think you and I are going to get along." And with a swift movement, Haruki grabbed the dog and plopped him back into the group. "I'm going to name you Pita." Haruki announced. The pets looked at him for a reason behind the name. '_Okay, these pets are mutherfricking creepy'. _Haruki thought. "As in, P.I.T.A. aka Pain In The Ass." Haruki said with a smirk. The other smaller silver dog, suddenly rolled over on his back and started to bark and yip, along with several cats. Pita, not happy with being humiliated by a mere Ningen, and being laughed at by strange cats and his foolish Hanyou brother, snarled at all of them, and swiped his claws at the closest cat.

Unfortunately, the closest cat was the black and orange striped tabby-cat.

Two things happened.

1) There was a startingly large amount of blood staining Pita's claws...

2)...and suddenly Haruki had two cats nuzzling into his firm chest. (The cats would never admit they thought that. Well, Hidan andd Madara wouldn't, but I'm not too sure about Tobi.)

"You little shit..." Haruki started to yell. The cats,dogs, **AND **Kaname stared at him in shock. The new pets were surprised because he seemed a gentle guy, Kaname because she realised he was genuinely angry. Probably realsing he was about to go balistic on a dog, no matter how annyoing, Haruki took a few calming breaths and sat on the ground. After a couple minutes he looked down at Hidan and Tobi. "Can I trust you guys not to sink your claws in my skull." Haruki made a confused face when they both answered him by nodding.

"You guys get weirder by the second. Next thing you know, I'll have 2 more cats from the past staring at me like I'm a retard."* Deciding that they needed to get home quick, he placed the two cats on his head, and placed all female cats in first, then male cats. Inuyasha went in last. Sesshoumaru stood there. wondering why he was last. He was a LORD for Jashin's sake! As if sensing his confusion, Haruki told the tiny Demon Lord that his wagon-riding privleges went away when he decided to harm an innocent kitten. Smirking, Haruki also told him, "This is 9 mile walk. Think you can handle it?", turned around, and pulled the wagon of animals toward home.

***4 miles later...***

Haruki stopped to take a gulp of water from The Bottle of Randomness*, and then sighed happily. Then, he turned to check on his pets. The females were sleeping, along with many of the males. Only 4 of them managed to stay awake, though. Those cats were studying him, just as he was. Hidan and Tobi decided to sleep on either one of his sholders. Last but not least, Pita/Sesshoumaru decided it would be best to collapse among the pavement. Haruki looked at him sadly.

"I know you don't like me and vice versa, but can you just cooperate long enough to get home? Then, I'll let you do whatever hell you want, m'kay?" Haruki asked pleadngly. Sesshoumaru whimpered in submission(Not like he would admit to it later.), to tired to move. Haruki smiled down at him. Pulling his Iphone out, he dialed quickly and said, "I'm on Sakura Ave." and hung up. Then started to tap his foot, as if counting. All of sudden, the roar of car engine sounded, and a blue lamborgini parked its way infront the odd group. A figure then made its way out of the expensive car. First, a thigh-high, leather, stiletto-booted leg,wrapped in tight jeans, made its way out. By then, all cats were awakened and staring at the emerging figure.

Next, another leg made it's way out, along with some very femine hips. Now, some males (Kisame,Miroku,Deidara) were having a nice fun time swimming in their own pool of drool. A torso then made its way out, it being very curvy. Lastly, an ample chest and exotic face were shown to the group. Long, curly, Hazel colored hair swayed behind the woman. Purple eyes seem to be laughing at Haruki and his rag-tag group of pets. Naturally red lips curled into a cute smile.

"What would you do without me, Haru-chi?" The woman asked. "I'd be dead without you Lola-chan!" Haruki cried dramatically. "Exactly." Lola smiled

DUN-DUN-!

Lola is here! Welcome the show! We hope you find love in this random ass romantic comedy!

***_SPOILER ALERT!_**

*They just came out of nowhere. **I** don't even now where they came from!

I edited this because it was way to short. Hope you enjoyed it!


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